In the Darkest Valley
by More Than I Appear
Summary: Ed's luck of escaping danger by the skin of his teeth runs out and Al tries to offer what comfort he can as their journey comes to an end.


A/N: Ok, so this was written about six years ago (2005) roughly around the time the first Full Metal Alchemist series was being aired. I remember watching the series and thinking in a worried way that, you know, at some point Ed and Al's luck of getting out of really dangerous situations alive would eventually run out if they kept running headlong at everything in their way, that one day they would beat the bad guys but at a terrible cost. Though it had its short-comings, I loved the first series and it was one of the first series I ran across where there was a real present danger to all the characters, a lesson I think we all learned when Hughs dies (I cried. Did anyone else?) so as the series continued and the missions became riskier, I genuinely feared for Al and Edward because it did seem that the damn universe was out to get them which made me wonder which goaded me into writing.

For obvious reasons, this- I dunno what it is since it's certainly not a story. A what-if scene maybe?- is not based on any particular episode but I would imagine that it would take place toward the latter half of the series where Ed's devotion to Al has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt but before, well, everything goes to hell in a hand basket.

I'm not a religious person but I thought the title somewhat fitting given the scene. For those who are like me and, frankly, have no idea what the title refers to, look up Psalm 23:4 on your preferred search engine and apply the knowledge loosely.

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**In the Darkest Valley**

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"Al," Edward panted, looking up at the armor's helmet, looking up into the empty holes that served as his brother's eyes, his automail hand dangling broken and useless at his side. "I'm so sorry."

For the first time in four years, Alphonse Elric was happy that he didn't have an actual, physical heart because if he had had one, it would be breaking.

"I failed you," His brother's voice, normally so strong and confident, was soft and strained. "I failed you… all over again."

The last was sobbed out gently but it made the small body Alphonse held arch in pain anyway. Ed settled, panting, and resumed peering up at his little brother. Dull, unfocused gold eyes pleaded up at him, making Alphonse wonder just how accurate his brother's sight currently was.

Alphonse could see the guilt clearly, so prominent in those lackluster orbs, more so than the agony the elder Elric was clearly experiencing. Remorse ate at Ed's sight just as surely as death did and Alphonse wanted to cry at the image, at the immeasurable sorrow in those golden depths.

Edward had always carried the guilt for the both of them in life and it looked as if he was going to follow through with the practice into death. Because that was exactly what was happening; Edward Elric was dying in his brother's arms and there wasn't a damn thing Alphonse could do about it.

"I failed you," Ed was saying, head lolling backwards briefly before snapping back up to focus again on his brother. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"

He continued to apologize, over and over, even when his voice could barely be heard as his eyelids kept drifting shut, the intervals between them fluttering open again becoming longer.

_Edward was dying…_

"I failed you." Ed's breathing was labored and thick and it was the most horrible sound Al had ever heard.

… _and he was going to keep apologizing until his heart gave out._

In typical Edward Elric fashion, he was refusing to let go of his guilt, hording it to his soul in an effort of retribution, accepting his fate as punishment himself for their sins. It was a burden that would have broken lesser people, a load so heavy that it would weigh down and shatter anyone's soul, but Ed wasn't just anyone and though small he was far from less in any respect so he had carried it without complaint every hour of every day since they had committed the ultimate taboo. Those guilt and sorrow filled eyes stared up at Al, pleading for the forgiveness Edward was convinced he didn't deserve.

"I was unworthy…" Ed's voice hitched and Al could hear a faint gurgle and some part of the armor trapped soul wailed as reality set in with cold finality.

_There was nothing Alphonse could do for his brother's wounds… _

"…of you." Ed continued, panting faintly, head rolling to the side until his forehead hit Al's upper arm. "Damned…" he muttered after a moment, face twisting in pain.

"You didn't fail, Brother!" Alphonse said suddenly in a cheerful, happy voice, pressing his large hand into the smaller one trapped beneath it further into the bandaged wound. He'd been trying to staunch the bleeding but that was a moot point now and though he refused to admit it, part of him was certain that there was more blood on the ground now than inside Ed. "You succeeded! You just can't tell because of the snow!"

…_but maybe…_

"…what?" Edward looked up at him, his eyes drifting in and out of focus. "Snow?" He added, confusion evident in his face, in those hazy eyes. "There's…no snow…"

…_just maybe…_

"Sure there is! We're…" Alphonse had to stop and control himself again- his voice had started to break. "We're out and…and were making angels in it!" He continued quietly, forcing enthusiasm into his voice.

…_there was something he could do for his brother's piece of mind. _

Ed's mouth moved, the lips now finding it difficult to contort themselves into words, the gurgle seeming to quiet his voice to a whisper. Alphonse couldn't make out most of it, just the words 'failed' and 'my fault,' and even though Alphonse was only an empty suit of armor, incapable of physical sensation, he felt himself shattering as he watched his brother struggle to breathe around his broken ribs, to speak around the pain of the hole in his middle seeping blood. Edward was dying and Alphonse didn't know if he himself would survive the death intact but he would never forgive himself if he let Edward die weighted down by their burden, and so he continued to lie, to try and sooth away some of his brother's emotional pain.

_It was the last thing that Al could do._

"No, you succeeded!" Alphonse insisted, struggling valiantly to keep his tone happy with dogged determination. Ed was dying but he did not have to go to his death believing he was a failure. "It's just, it's just too cold to feel the warmth of my skin and-"

Al stopped and tried to muffle the sob, the sound mutating into a moan of despair as it hit the air. He couldn't do it- Alphonse had never been that great of an actor- but Ed was looking at him, quiet as he listened to Al speak, and the younger Elric somehow found the strength to continue.

His voice breaking, thick with non-existent tears and very real grief, he resolutely carried on. "And the snow makes me look all fuzzy. We're… home Ed, in Risembull."

_A final duty for his brother, his only brother, who had fought for him and faced true evil for him, who had joined the military and become a dog for him. Who had sacrificed his body, who had been willing to give his life just for the _chance _to get Alphonse back from the Gate... _

The younger Elric searched his mind, casting about for a pleasant memory to share, something to do with snow but wouldn't cause more pain.

"We're in Mr. Thompson's field again." Al said softly, regretting that that particular old memory was the only one he could use. "He's let us use it again for the annual snow ball fight, just like he did last year. You got Winry really good earlier with one of those awful ice balls you make- you should really stop doing that Ed- and she nailed you with one of her own. I think she put a wrench in it, Brother."

Ed made a little snorting sound that could have passed for a laugh and the corner of his mouth turned up in what could have been a smile, even as a thin stream of blood trickled down his cheek.

Something painful twisted inside Al at the sight and made him physically ache.

_The least Alphonse could do…._

"She says she's very sorry," Al went on, putting a smile into his voice. "And went to get the doctor for you so just lie still, okay? You have a large bump…"

_...the very least he could do…_

"Mom…" Ed interrupted; it came out as a rough sigh, quickly replaced by a pain sound.

…_was grant his brother's final wish._

"She's," Alphonse whispered. "She's waiting for us." It wasn't exactly a lie- Al hoped and prayed it wasn't a lie. "She's waiting for us, Brother. She's at home…and making dinner. She said we're having stew tonight and that, because it'll be stormy later, we can sleep with her tonight." _Just like we used to do; she'd cuddle us close and tell us stories while outside the storm would rage but we'd be safe and warm._

"…cold." Ed mumbled suddenly, sleepily, his eyes drifting shut again.

Alphonse felt as if the spike Edward had taken in the abdomen, the one that had been meant for Al- the one that Edward had shoved him out of the way of- had suddenly attained a life of its own and taken it upon itself to complete its original mission, the destruction of the younger Elric's blood seal.

"No!" Alphonse, his nerve breaking, shook his brother until half-mast eyes opened. "You have to stay awake! You can't go to sleep! The doctor says you have to stay awake!"

Edward jerked and gasped and tried to stay still as pain rolled through him, panting up at Al as his head lolled against his brother's arm again and gurgling sounded in his throat.

Not for the first time, Alphonse considered moving, thought about carrying Ed to the nearest town and scream until he had no voice for someone to help them, but didn't. They were in the middle of nowhere, literally, and were surrounded on all sides by rocky desolate hills. The nearest town was almost two miles away and the medical facility there was merely for show, in no way possessing the capacity needed to handle something like the injuries that Edward had sustained.

And with these facts in mind, unsure of where to go and what to do, Alphonse had done nothing. He simply continued to helplessly sit on the bare ground and hold his limp brother who continued to stare up at him with unfocused eyes.

"You have to stay awake for the doctor." Alphonse said again, smoothing his voice and tying to sound confident. "He's coming." He whispered down into that pale face.

"Human?" Ed asked, eyes focusing suddenly and flicking over Alphonse's upper torso.

"Er… yes?" Al answered uncertainly. "He's human, you're human and I'm… human."

A pink tongue slipped out to wet pale lips as those gold eyes settled on Alphonse's face again. Ed's breath hitched in his chest as he inhaled deeply and tears ran in thick trails from Edward's eyes but he smiled.

He smiled up at Alphonse warmly and there was such gratitude and love in those expressive eyes of his that Al's metaphysical breath hitched.

"You're such a lousy liar, Alphonse." Ed said, smiling and crying. "And you're such a wonderful brother." He paused then, and it was clear that speaking was making the pain worse, that it had taken more energy than Ed possessed to say what he wanted to.

Al heard a whimper, then belatedly realized that the sound was coming from him. "Ed, don't talk anymore! It'll be ok! The doctor…"

"I love you!" Ed gasped out, body tightening in pain. Blood, red and frothy, overwhelmed the compress Al had applied earlier to his brother's wound and soaked Ed's bloody clothing anew.

"You're the best brother in the world!" Ed said fiercely, gripping Alphonse's hand on his stomach tightly, conveying urgency. Even as he gasped for breath, his eyes burned up at Alphonse like twin suns of emotion, the only thing that remained of the strong youth he had been scant hours ago. "You are the most wonderful brother in the world and I am thankful-" Gasp. "That I was lucky enough-" He gagged this time, coughing and gasping as blood welled out of his mouth. Al made little noises of distress in response, large thick gloved fingers wiping at the blood in an attempt to help.

"So incredibly thankful that you are _my_ brother!" The last was a pain-filled scream as Ed's chest heaved, his back trying to arch upward as the rest of him spasmed in an imitation of a seizure, flesh fingers gripping Al's hand tightly. After an eternity, the episode ended and Ed lay like a broken doll in Al's lap, his eyes open and empty, his skin waxen and sweat drenched. Blood oozing from his mouth and stomach, he sagged against the armor's chest plate, and remained silent when Al called his name.

"Ed, no please!" Al begged, giving his brother a gentle shake and watching the small body flop bonelessly. "Ed! Ed…" And then he broke because this was all just too much for him to bear. He crushed the small form against him and howled his pain to the dark sky.

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If you happen to be looking for a very good Roy/Ed series and are old enough to read mature content, I would highly, highly recommend "The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher" and its sequel "Better Living Through Alchemy" by Skydark on . There is also a third installment to this series but I personally haven't read it yet... It's incredibly written and so very worth reading.


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